You don't bring me flowers anymore. And by "flowers" I mean blog posts.

So, it's been seven years since my last post on here. I half expected my account to be shut down due to inactivity when I logged in. I also less than half expected, maybe an eighth expected there to be some ghost writer on here, keeping up on it for me. But then I remembered I don't believe in ghosts. And if I did, they'd be haunty-type ghosts, not writer-type ghosts.
Where have I been, you might ask. Well, I've been impregnating my wife mostly. Well, once. That's all it takes. We are going to add a baby to our family! Soon too! In September. An annoying thing about pregnancy is that everything becomes "we" when you and your spouse or baby mamma are going to have a baby.
"We are pregnant."
"We are due on September 13th."
"We have an ultrasound today."
"We are annoying."
Regardless of how annoying, we are SUPER excited for this baby (we call the baby Earl) to come. But not so excited that we want Earl to come early. As you probably know, Rose came early. And if you have one baby early, there's a decent chance you'll have subsequent babies early. So Therese gets a shot in her butt every week to keep the Earl in there.
We don't know if Earl is a boy or a girl. We're not going to find out until s/he's 6 years old. We are mostly hoping that Earl is just one sex, because being two sexes would be difficult. I bet. No offense to my hermaphroditic readers, but I read Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides and it seemed tough for the child. Especially the first hundred or so boring as hell pages about growing up in Greece or something. I skipped those pages actually. Then the book got good. Anyway, we want Earl to have either just lady parts OR boy parts.
Earl is due on Friday the 13th in September. I like to make a joke that if s/he comes on time, we're going to name him Jason Voorhees. No one (except Dave) ever gets that joke. And there's nothing more annoying than having to explain a joke. NOTHING. Except maybe five finger toe shoes. Or smoking.
Speaking of baby names, if you ever have a baby and people ask you "do you have a name picked out?" tell them "no." Even if you do have a name picked out. It's funny to see/hear their reaction when you tell them what you're thinking. Generally they won't like the name. And they'll let you know. But if you wait until the baby is born and you introduce them, "hey everybody, this is Seephus," no one will say, "wow, that's a silly name." And if someone says that, then put one of Seephus's full diapers under the driver's side seat of their car. And then see who has a funny name.
I think that about gets you up to speed on our goings on. Here are some pictures:

happy new year!

well, we survived another year. the mayans predicted we wouldn't. and we as a society are doing our best to kill ourselves off, but we made it. two thousand and thirteen. look at us now.
what this means to you, but mostly to me:
resolutions. you have resolved to be a better person. you have resolved to be fitter. eat better. drink less. be more sympathetic. tweet. read more books. fold your clothes right out of the dryer. blog more. wear more red. eat fewer clif bars. travel more. play less words with friends. but i'm just not seeing it. come on people, we're like eight days in and you've already fallen off the pace. it's safe to lose around three pounds a week. so, if you're not down five or six, 2013 is a waste thus far.and there's some shirts wrinkling in your dryer right now...
our anniversary. we celebrated our one year marriage-aversary. pretty sweet. all you nay-sayers out there can suck it. pay up. and for all of you who did not get us a wedding gift, don't think you're off the hook... they say (they, you know, those people) that you have a year to give a wedding gift... well, we applied for an extension and they approved it. so, you have another year to get us that blender. or those sheets. or that condo.
holiday cards. our fridge is plastered with your faces and your kids faces and your pets' faces. and your seasons greetings. and your warmest holiday wishes. so, thanks for that. oh, and BTW, it's a new fridge to us. as we moved into a new home. well, in november we did. but it's still pretty new for 2013. we had a housewarming party and you were all there. well, your pictures were anyway. they had a great time. especially the miners. oh, and the laviolettes.
family. we love our families. and i'll leave it at that since they might read this. i hope you love your families too. and ours mostly. it's probably more important that you love our family. more rewarding anyway.
friends. we love our friends. there were some friends in town for the holidays. to them i offer this.
fantasy football. my sundays are so much less stressful now that ffl is done. there's not many things i hate to love to hate to love more than fantasy football. and it consumes my sundays and most of my other waking hours from september to december. i invest so much ridiculous energy into something i have very little control over. and it makes me crazy. therese loves it though. otherwise i'd totally quit. every year i say it'll be my last. but instead of quitting this year, i joined a second league. and that seemed to be a terrific decision. twice the frustration! but you'll be happy to know that i got third in one of the leagues and that's seventy-five smackers.

therese. speaking of therese, she is working for three employers currently. but because of provider/patient  confidentiality, i don't know if i can say where she's working... but it's swedish in ballard with the midwives and swedish in ballard with the addiction recovery service. and the seattle indian health board. which i hope she'll quit soon. it's not up to me though where she works because we live in a progressive household and if she wants to have a job, i suppose she can have one. or three. i won't let her vote though. or expose her wrists or ankles. oh, and she also fairly recently discovered a love for superhero movies. which is cool for me because i got to watch all the movies again. but she likes them for a different reason. i like the action and witty one liners and guys getting beat up. she likes the deeper meaning of what it is to be a super hero. what defines them, their powers, and what they do with them. apparently with great power comes great responsibility. and with great super hero movies comes pop corn. she will gladly debate with you on whether or not a super hero wants the power they have and/or the inconsistencies between the x men films. 
rose. rose got forty seven books for christmas and had forty three of them read by lunch. thankfully she also got a kindle which is like forty seven HUNDRED books. [side note: it's fun to watch people who are used to touch screens use a non-touch screen device (side side note: it's not fun to watch people who are not used to touch screens use a touch screen device]. i should also point out that between reading all those forty seven new books she got, she also re-read every other book she owns and loves... rose is also four months into her fourth grade year at a new school. and she's kicking that new school's ass.

well, i should end this before it turns into one of those family newsletters that you get around the holidays but throw out before you finish reading it because you get tired of hearing about how awesome that family is...

our family is awesome. but not that awesome.

GO HAWKS.